Having a fake friend in your life could be very disheartening. If you fail to spot him out, you may have to deal with a lot of emotional and psychological damages for years. He has no genuine concern for your life, success, and happiness
I’ve been receiving a number of questions about how to spot a fake friend. One guy staying next to me just asked: “Hey Tony how do you even figure out a fake friend?.”
Uh oh… It’s quite difficult to figure out because such kind of people moves about behind masks. I mean they always lurk in the darkness. It wouldn’t be so easy figuring them out like pranking a gold digger. You need to unmask them first, but in this post, I will make it relatively simple to help you sieve those bad nuts without much ado.
You are not God; neither a psychic to probe into people’s minds and observe their secret motives. That beautiful smile of your secret enemy is a real thorn in the flesh. You have to be smart enough to play your cards very very well…. or else you would have to spend years dealing with both emotional and psychological trauma.
Before I share that with you; I’ve got a coffee here… Let me take a sip. Great! I believe it’s time I put up something here in detail. You see, human beings are social organisms and in one way or the other; we must understand the relevance of friendship.
The Most important Matter
Is it necessary to have friends at all?. Well, I have got a handful of them. How many friends do you have? Do you really find them helpful?.
Having a lot of friends in life is good and having none or few are also good. The more you keep your friend circle small the more you get the opportunity to spot out all the fake ones.
But there is something extremely important I want you to take note of. Having friends in your life may not be necessary depending on your age.
You see; kids for instance would need quite a lot of friends and it is up to any parent to teach his/her children how to know their fake friends. That is the stage they begin to socialize.
And the more we grow up, the more our priorities changes. It would reach a point in your life that you would realize you don’t even need friends. Just take a look at the table below:
| Age | Priority |
| 16 – 19 | Love would sound very important to you that you become impatient to find one |
| 20 – 21 | Having friends become very important |
| 22 – 24 | The need for a job becomes necessary |
| 25 – 29 | At this age, we often crave for money and wealth |
| 30 – 39 | Your thoughts of raising a family becomes a top priority |
| 40 – 49 | You become sensitive to time. Yes! time |
| 50 – 59 | Here, you start prioritizing things that will put you in good health |
| 60 and above | This is the point you start to value your very dear life. Because sooner or later you would be saying goodbye to everybody in your life |
So at different stages of your life, you would love to satisfy your priorities which changes over time. So from the above table where did you find friends as a top priority?.
Hmm… Are they even necessary? Look I can put you in a tough spot that would make you even forget about making friends.
The sad truth you must first surrender to is that; friends are not a necessity like food and water. And if you happen to be the guy who can’t live without friends then it is time you put on the eyes of a blacksmith so that you can figure out the real gold.
Learn extensively about how you can spot a fake friend without any hustle. And obviously; I am here to help you out.
Getting Prepared To Spot Any Fake Friend In Your Life
Sometimes, life would compel you to make crucial decisions about who worth your time/attention and who doesn’t. Our choices infinitely define who we become in the future.
And while I prepare your mind to adapt to some of the best ways to stay away from fake friends; you may be interested in reading some of the related articles I have already written:
1. How to know your true friends
2. How to know if you are in a fake relationship
How To Know A Fake Friend
Now I want you to pay much attention to this if you really want to stay safe from unreal people. I want to help you purge them from your friendship circle.
“Fake friends; those who only drill holes under your boat to get it leaking; those who discredit your ambitions and those who pretend they love you, but behind their backs they know they are in to destroy your legacies.”
—Israelmore Ayivor
Over the past few years, I tried to understand who could be a best friend. And after considering a couple of friendship stories; I ended up with just one outstanding friendship that has ever existed on the surface of our planet. It was perfect in nature through mutual love, respect, and kindness.
You might be wondering who these true friends could be. I am talking about the true friendship between David and Jonathan. I haven’t read about any other story that portrays a real friendship like this one.
If our friends could be genuine like these two — then I wouldn’t disagree if you call friendship a necessity.
Like I said early, it doesn’t really matter if you have friends or not. There are too many fakes around. And you yourself you can’t be real if you boast about having 1000’s of friends on Facebook. Simply because they have been showing you love through emoji and kind words. Wait until you figure the real person behind that profile. Don’t be gullible!.
My friend, it is time you step into the world of reality and make a difference in your life and those you care about. Social media friends are full of fakes. I just want you to be aware.
Living Without True Friends Nor Fake Friends
A good buddy can be very fruitful in your life. On the other hand, bad friends could be like a curse that hangs around your neck. You need to get rid of it as soon as possible.
There is a serious issue with those who can’t live a day without friends. I actually don’t want you to think that there are no real friends out there.
There are friends who are just like a family. But if you find it difficult to know who is real and who is fake; then narrow your friendship circle.
I know a couple of guys who are used to solitude, and it is something that protects them from all the drama out there. It is perfectly normal to be as such. Friends, in general, are complements to your life journey. The impact could be positive or negative.
Sir Isaac Newton, never fancied friendship. He actually had only one true friend called John Wickins. They met at college and become very close friends. This man had no girlfriend nor friends but ended being a great inventor.
Their friendship deepened because they shared a common interest that revolved around their School studies. Newton barely had social life so he had no problem dealing with fake friends. Instead, he had a lot of enemies.
I am not trying to justify loneliness as a good thing but if you can’t find real friends to add something valuable to your life; then it worth staying out there alone.
We mainly make friends in high schools and colleges, after graduation, no one would be there to help you live a better life. Everything is on your head.
It doesn’t mean, they don’t like you but they also have their own personal issues to deal with. In other sense, I will say nobody cares, so work harder towards your future.
All those buddies were just part of your life journey. It is only in a few instances that some of them stay and turn out to be resourceful. So learn how to live alone or stay with few friends by saying “no” to the fake ones.
Imagine what a fake friend will do to you if he remains undetected in your friendship circle. You would get choked by your food morsels and he wouldn’t deliver a cup of water to you on request. That kind of hate and wickedness is very real. But because it is often, shrouded— you could barely see it.
Who Is A Fake Friend And How To Know
Now, get ready to know about the real snake in the grass. So who is a fake friend? He is the one who pretends to have a genuine interest in your life, success, and happiness.
The false presence is their camouflage clothes. You must know the personality very well even if you don’t remove the clothes. Just be smart. Consider some of the characteristics of fake friends in the next pages.
Characteristics Of Fake Friends
1. Your life situation means nothing to them
What is your current life situation? I mean the challenges you face in life mean nothing to them. And asking for their help would prove useless. It would be like waiting for the doctor to attend to you while you lay on the hospital bed. You would die there!.
2. Excuses to avoid doing anything for you
The moment you ask for their little help, then oh no; they are already busy for nothing. Then the frivolous excuses will follow in order to avoid you. This habit is a really good sign that you are having a fake friend.
3. Hypocritical about what they have done for you; should you inquire about your importance to them
You see, fake people always try to play smart. While you show much concern about knowing the relevance of your friendship to them by scrutinizing their originality, they jump into a conclusion about all the pretty little things they have done for you in the past.
Just to justify their false loyalty. A fake friend would cite examples of the things he has done. Like “last week I saved your clothes from the rains” I gave you a piece of my cake”, ‘saved your kitten from drowning”, blah blah blah, etc. So he will demand some kind of appreciation.
Such people would always like to pretend to be of genuine help to you. Oh, look at how hypocrites behave?.
4. They won’t defend you when in trouble
Fake friends would have zero interest in pulling you out from the pit. Instead of giving you the ladder for you to climb out; they will stand atop and stretch their hands as if they seriously want to help. “Hey!, you idiot! wait but why do you put the ladder aside?!”
When you run into any kind of trouble, they will rather expose your weaknesses just to make sure you become uncomfortable and fail in your plans.
5. Your fake friends will only show up when you achieve something big in life like being successful
Your struggles to achieve your goals mean nothing to them. In fact, they will always let you know they are uptight with their projects and other staff.
You just won the lottery… Hurray?!!… There, they show up!. Where the party at?. They are nowhere to be found when you hit the bottom. Such a mysterious friend has nothing good to do in your life. Don’t wait for me to prompt you to raise the red flag before you do so.
6. Fakes hate to see you achieve what they haven’t— envy
Fakes are a real big thorn in the flesh. When you keep on achieving your goals and seeing progress in your life, you give them the headache to conspire and sabotage you.
Why haven’t they been able to taste that level of success? You will surely see that kind of envy in their eyes. That secret enemy wouldn’t congratulate you. He wouldn’t show appreciation for any achievements you make in life.
7. They keep their personal issues away from you
The guy who is unreal will set you aside when it comes to issues concerning his personal life. You would hardly hear him talk about his daily routine, future plans, relationships, finance, education, favorites hobbies, etc.
8. A fake friend prioritizes other contemporary friends over you
You see, this son of a bitch will underestimate you when it comes to the kind of flow he has with his friends. He will surely see you as a class-one boy trying to get involved in a conversation that college students are having.
Your presence to him is like, someone who is not up to his class. So he will look down on you. If you notice anything like that, then no one has to tell you to raise the red flag!.
9. Promise and fail
How many times has that so-called friend of yours promised you and fulfilled it? If you figure out about his too many failures in fulfilling his promises then you have to know that; all these while — you have been moving with a friend who is an untrustworthy person. You can’t rely on him a bit. Don’t allow him to keep on playing that tricky game on you that makes you look like a fool.
10. A Liar and a traitor
A Boss I once had used to say; “the very first time I catch you lying to me; I will never trust you.” Seriously, here is one of the biggest characteristics of a fake friend.
He doesn’t mind lying to you under broad daylight. They often do that after doing something silly and want to avoid being caught in their own snare.
Frenemy In Question
According to Merriam-webster dictionary frenemy is a person who is or pretends to be a friend but who is also in some ways an enemy or rival.
You may have a couple of them within your friendship circle. Snakes in the grass. As I said, if care is not taken, it would be too late before you spot those fake people out. Why? Because they are your friends but their mentality towards you makes them real enemies.
You must be smart enough to figure them out. Self-awareness should be your first step. If you ever spot a frenemy stay away from him. These kind of people are parasites that sucks blood.
“Be careful when you choose the people you can trust. Some of them are lions in an sheep’s skin.”
I do remember watching a viral video of two female friends walking by the roadside. All of a sudden, one friend shouldered the other friend toward a moving bus.
Her intention was to get her friend killed by the bus. Luckily, she didn’t land under the bus’s tires. People like this often do that out of hatred and jealousy.
After realizing her plot to kill her friend failed, she quickly opened her arms to hug her. As naive and stupid, the victim couldn’t realize the evil thought of her friend to get her killed. All this pathetic event was captured by a CCTV camera.
Be careful with the one you walk with, be careful with the one you share your secret with. Not all the friends you have are real.
May God help you detect fake friends and frienemies as soon as possible. Amen!
How To Deal With Fake People In Summary
Now, it is time you get to know some of the attitudes of your fake friend. How can you deal with them without falling into their secret motive of mesmerizing your life?.
You can use the same techniques of burning bridges with friends to weed out all the fake people in your life. It works like spraying insecticide on notorious bugs in your kitchen cupboard. Wipe clean it and feel safe from infections.
Let me make this pretty quick and simple: Assuming you have been able to spot out all the fake people in your friendship circle. You will surely come into the realization that you don’t really matter for them.
So if they fail to recognize your worth, then place that importance on yourself by valuing your time, energy, money, and other resources that you sacrifice for them.
Detach yourself from their lives and other activities before they use you like an ox to plough their vast land!.
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