Trust issues are very complex, it is like a secret code to decipher in life. We actually can’t trust anyone with full assurance of not being betrayed. Remember, people say “I don’t trust anyone” for a reason.
Why would you ever say “I don’t trust anyone? Has a friend, a co-worker, a family member, etc. advised you on why you should not trust anyone? It is one of the hardest truths in life and it is like a bitter pill, you must take it to be on the safest side. Trust issues are very sensitive to many people. It is so hard to trust people around you. They could be friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, family members, coworkers, politicians, and strangers.
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Often, we hear people say “trust me“, but we will get stuck between two big oceans making us question our conscience “does it worth it? Personally, I prefer to believe in people than to trust them, and I hardly use the phrase “trust me.” I am simply not a fan of that, because I know I am fallible.
Difference Between Trust And Believe
Let me help you understand the difference between trust and believe. To believe means, you accept that something is true without any proof but to trust someone, you completely rely on that person with confidence.
Saying ‘I don’t trust anyone’ to yourself and people in your inner circle doesn’t mean you are paranoid. Safety first! you deserve the best for yourself.
Well, here I will discuss with you some of the reasons why you should not trust anyone. Although it is so hard to carry out in life, it does us a lot of good for the following reasons:
Reasons Why You Should Not Trust Anyone
1. Human Nature:
Human beings are not perfect, and so trusting in someone is like taking risks in your life. Our fallibility is something that cannot be erased from our lives.
It is a dangerous thing to trust in a fallible being. Imperfection is the reason you should not trust anyone. But is there anyone you can confide in on earth? The only one I can assure you about is God and his son Jesus Christ because he is perfect. It is all about faith but not what you see.
To gain unwavering faith in God, just read your bible. If someone tells you to “trust him” first, bear in mind that he is imperfect so don’t rely on him too much. Before someone earns a fellow’s trust in our modern world he or she has to go through some level of tests to prove to you that he or she is at least reliable, even that is not 100% guaranteed.
2. Character Change:
One good reason you shouldn’t confide in anyone is the tendency of changes in people’s character. The person you are entrusting can change his or her character at any moment.
So, why then trust him? It would be better to believe him than to trust him so that when he compromises your trust you don’t feel so bad.
I always tell my readers that people change their behavior when they meet different people or change their environments. The mind itself is filled with so many different thoughts each minute. A single change of thought could hurt someone innocent.
If someone is so calm and can keep secrets, he might change when he meets different people or begin to make new friends.
Friends or people can influence us to change our behavior or approach to certain situations. Don’t confide in people too much. Had I known is always at last. People just don’t say ‘I don’t trust anyone‘ for no reason.
Let’s say you are a girl and you have a boyfriend you trust so much because you have spent a couple of years together. You trusted him so much that you rubbish every bad thing you hear about him. He becomes someone like a saint or an angel to you.
Well, what if he finds himself in a different environment, like getting a job in a different town or country? There you would start becoming jealous for no good reason, knowing very well that there would be other women around who might lust after your boyfriend or probably date him.
That environment and new co-workers can have a greater influence on his character. If you trust too much, then you have to make yourself ready to face the consequences – if that person you confide in compromises your trust.
3. The Unpredictable Nature of Strangers:
People you confide in can disappear at any point in time. This is very common with strangers. You meet a stranger and all of a sudden you start believing him… because he smiled at you, said sugar-coated words to you, promised to take you to heaven, and so forth.
If you allow that person to earn your trust, in betrayal where are you going to find him? Maybe, he is a scammer or an outcast. At least let your trust be expensive for everyone before they earn it. Don’t be gullible. In this modern world, do you think it is good to trust people?
Many people have trusted strangers because of the kind of convincing words they used to lure them. The result is very pathetic.
4. The Danger Zone:
Here, I call it the danger zone because it is about the negative effects of trust betrayal. I said earlier that before you even confide in anyone — make sure you can handle the consequences. Can you handle it?
“I don’t trust anybody. Not anybody. And the more that I care about someone, the more sure I am they’re going to get tired of me and take off.”
Some of the negative effects that can happen to you when someone betrays your trust include; a broken heart, mental disorder, emotional pains, a sense of dejection, and suicidal thoughts.
If someone compromises your trust it feels so painful that it can take your life away. Did I recommend you not to trust anyone? Yes, I did. If you can handle any of the above consequences then you can go ahead and rely on him/her with your Life.
I actually don’t mean, there are no trustworthy people in this world. They are, but you would rarely see one. It is so hard, so to avoid any damage to your very life, avoid trusting people. If you want to trust someone, that is a form of risk-taking.
Make sure that person works hard to earn your trust and even that, you shouldn’t give him a hundred percent trust. Life is full of uncertainties. There are many people out there who are not real. Knowing how to spot fake friends would save you from emotional pain.
Exemplary Lesson To Help Out Stay On The Safer Side
I watched a very interesting funny video. In the video, a man took his son to the field, made him climb a ladder, and asked him, “do you trust me, son?”.”Yes, Dad!“, he responded.
Then the man said, “fall in my arm.” The son left himself off the ladder and the father left him to fall, saying; “you shouldn’t trust anyone”.
The kid was hurt and disappointed. But at the end of the day, he learned his lesson. That would be like a necklace around his neck and it will constantly remind him of what his father has taught him.
This lesson goes to all of us, even those people close to us could be dangerous. I mean snakes in the grass. You can’t trust them. Simply because they are human beings and can easily betray under broad daylight.
After breaking your trust, they will simply apologize and that apology can’t resolve the pain and damages inflicted on you. There is a local African proverb that goes like this.
“You can’t look into a bottle with both eyes.”
Only one eye can do that and the other eye will be like a spare tire. Just like it is advisable to have a spare tire in your car, should if one gets burst on the road then you can replace it. That is a good idea not to trust your car tires too much.
Sometimes, people tell us not to trust anyone. Judas betrayed Jesus Christ although he was part of his inner circle. He ate with him, talked with him, and lived life together but in the end, he betrayed Jesus.
Friends and everyone close to us know our strengths and weaknesses. They can capitalize on your weakness and harm you so easily. Thieves normally get tip-offs from someone close to the victim.
So, trusting people close to us is sometimes dangerous so far as you can’t read their minds. You are not a psychic, so why be sure that this very person doesn’t have bad thoughts of you and would never harm you?
Being A Distrustful Person Can Hurt/Save You
Sometimes an unpleasant past experience may compel you to become a distrustful person. Indeed the one that has been bitten by a snake takes to his heels whenever he sees a worm(An African proverb).
This kind of phobia is what psychologists call pistanthrophobia. It may be good to be extremely careful when putting your trust in people because when it becomes shattered — it could affect your whole life and make you antisocial which will breed depression and further worsen to your death. In an extreme situation like this, it would be advisable to see a psychologist for help.
While too much distrust is not good for your own intuition, it is advisable to calm down your emotions. Having a relationship with people is very important. Because naturally, we are social beings. Trust will not grow overnight but with a gradual process, it will develop.
“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”
With caution, you can survive any betrayal because I told you to keep a spare tire in your car’s boot. It is as simple as this. Even in darkness, your own shadow vanishes. I mean trustworthy people are very rare like the Siberian tiger. You can only find them in the wild.
I hope you find the rare guys who are trustworthy and deserve your attention. They are the real gems… be vigilant and you can find them.
If you need more guidance to deal with trust issues I recommend Iyanla Vanzant’s book entitled “Trust: Mastering the Four Essential Trusts: Trust in Self, Trust in God, Trust in Others, Trust in Life.”
In her book, Iyanla explores details about trust and why some of the most shocking trust violations offer us profound opportunities for personal growth and healing. You can grab a copy through my affiliate link here.
Iyanla Vanzant is one of New York’s best sellers. She has shared her experiences in life and the painful truths that help individuals to handle relationships and other life situations.
You can also have a copy of her book by clicking on the facing photo below:
‘I Don’t Trust Myself’ — Says The Old Man
There is this old man who used to say “I don’t trust myself.” For the first time hearing him; I asked him why he should say he doesn’t trust himself.
With a broad smile, he patiently told me:
• “I sometimes make promises to myself and fail. How much more wouldn’t I fail someone else?.”
• “I may lie to someone just to protect my image or avoid any discomfort.”
With deep thought, I realized this old man never want anyone to rely fully on him. Because he has been failing to fulfill promises made to himself. He further explained: “A situation or condition can bring about a change of plan…” I couldn’t agree any longer.
This old man has got a real big punchline that made me not delight in making promises. I finally said, “you are right, I believe you!.” He agreed to the fact that I did not say “I trust you.”
Because he simply doesn’t want people to put their trust in him. He never wants to play on anyone’s emotions. Together, we laughed it off. It was a great lesson for me.
An Advice From Me
As human beings keep on being unpredictable you ought to think twice before you entrust anyone in your life. We can’t always know what is hidden inside someone’s head.
Not even a professional psychologist nor a psychic will always be able to figure out what the next guy closest to you has planned.
It is true, knowledge is power, and experience is the best teacher so be open to learning more about the best ways to handle trust issues by getting a copy of Iyanla Vanzat’s book right here.
In all, we should always be careful and mindful of those who fall within our inner circles. These people know your strengths, weaknesses, and even a number of your secrets. Their minds can change at any moment.
How funny it is to find out that; the person you are dating who is fond of saying “I love you” says the same thing to someone else (unfaithfulness).
In the Bible, Judas was Jesus Christ’s disciple. He betrayed him for no good reason. Man’s heart could be corrupted at any time. In the same way, the one you share your secret with — can sell you out someday.
It is necessary to pray for protection against harm, disappointment, and failure that may come your you. Trust God first and he will help you sieve all the fake people in your life. Be vigilant like the snake and harmless like a dove — says the Bible.
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5 thoughts on “4 Reasons Why People Lament: “I Don’t Trust Anyone.””
I really found this article worthwhile and enjoyable- until you had to go and throw God in the mix. Just as I refuse to put my trust in a fallible being, I refuse to put my trust in the vaguely defined idea of a “perfect being” created by fallible beings. God can do nothing for me.
Great article and I agree with putting trust in God and having him help you root out all the deception and deceptive people in your life.
Trust is an interesting topic. However, the definition of the term, (it is a higher order construct), is not as simple as many people think. Most people think of integrity of heart when they think of trust. “He/She is a good person and would never intentionally do me harm”-this could be brother, sister, mother, clergy etc. However, there is a competency part that is often forgotten. Why? Lazy thinking-the comfortable feeling we have when relying on hunches-mental heuristics help us get things done more quickly and with less effort. Let’s reflect on the cost. You tell your brother that you have chest pain, he wants to comfort you and says,”Could it be just your reflux?We know you are a bit of a hypochondriac!” You know he cares for you more than any doctor! Anyway, the words are soothing, comforting and after all save time by solving the problem on the spot! You over look that although your doctor has poor bedside manner and maybe lacks integrity of heart (he/she keeps forgetting your name) the person has impeccable credentials and thus you have a heart attack. The other confound in the concept of trust is the human beings ever changing integrity of heart and competency relative to you and the problem. For example considering competency, you are more likely to take your dog to the vet than the doctor who saved you from a heart attack. For example integrity of heart, the love of your like tells you to go jump off a cliff during her pregnancy-don’t do that! You stand a better chance talking to your brother again! Over all, the most trustworthy person, fully trustworthy (perfect integrity of heart and competent in all content areas) would be a sacred, perfect person. I am not perfect. I fail your integrity of heart standard because I don’t know you. Am I competent in my knowledge of this topic? I think I will go ask my brother. (LOL)
Nothing much to say , I love everything you said about trust ,needed to hear this and claiming all advice with positive . I will try hard to work on me ,not putting my trust in human being expect Allah